The year is 2024 and all of Palestine is occupied by the Jewish state. All of Palestine? No. One corner, Gaza, is holding out...
or should it be:
The year is 2024 and all the Middle East is governed by Fascist states or Monarchies. All? No. In one corner a single Liberal Democracy is holding out...
or perhaps:
The year is 2024 and all the Middle East is ruled by Arabs. All the Middle East? No, in one corner a Jewish state is holding out...
That of course is one of the issues. Israel and the region is an onion of conflicts inside conflicts, all feeding off each other.
But that is not what I wanted to write about. This is:
In Asterix and the Roman Agent, Julius Caesar notices an unpleasant chap in Rome who causes conflict wherever he goes. Wherever he is, people start to argue and fight with each other and Caesar thinks this man could be useful. He hires the man and sends him, as a secret agent, to the Gaulish village, where soon the entire village is at each other's throats and falling apart.
I sometimes think that Netanyahu is like that agent. He prospers by sowing conflict within Israel. It has to be said that it's not difficult. The saying goes, "Two Jews, three opinions" and the joke says that every Jew needs two synagogues: The one he prays in, and the one he refuses to set foot in.
Even now, with all the conflict and war in Gaza, nothing has changed. Israelis continue to fight and argue. In the Asterix story the village faces a terrible crisis, until the Romans invade and then they miraculously come together and fight back.
The other story is Asterix in Britain. In that book, the Romans invade Britain and discover that the Britons pause fighting every day at five o'clock to drink hot water and that they also refuse to fight at weekends. So Caesar orders the Roman armies to fight only at weekends and between 5 and 6 on weekdays and soon all Britain is occupied, except for one small village which appeals to the Gauls for help.
The Israeli Army does not train on Saturdays or public holidays, so perhaps it was inevitable that in 1973, the neighboring Arab states chose Yom Kippur to invade. Its a day when many/most Israeli Jews fast. There is no traffic, no TV etc.
In October 2023, Hamas chose a date close to Yom Kippur to attack: Simchat Tora. Depending on which calendar you use, it was almost 50 years to the day from the Yom Kippur war.
Orthodox Jews read the five books of Moses (the Torah) every year. Simchat Torah is the day they finish the books and start again and there are various celebrations. Once again, the Israelis were caught napping.
In the Asterix version, the Gauls go to England with a barrel of magic potion which they lose on the way, so their Druid adds some leaves to the Britons hot water and tells them its a magic potion. Thanks to the powers of suggestion, it gives the Britons the power to fight off the Romans. The leaves are, of course, called tea. It was always my favorite Asterix.
So there you have it. some aspects of Asterix apply to modern Israel. All that's missing is Obelix tapping his head and going "these people are crazy!".
